How can victims of scammers get their money back?

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Here’s what I wish I’d known before I was targeted, and what has helped in the aftermath.

1. Spot a scam before it starts.

One way to dodge scams is simple: Don’t pick up calls from people who aren’t in your contacts, even if your caller ID recognizes the number. (For what it’s worth, my scammers were able to spoof calls from government agencies and Amazon customer service, so anyone is fair game.) If the person trying to reach you is legitimate, they’ll leave you a voicemail, and you can cross-check their callback number. Or they’ll find another way to get in touch.

Of course, sometimes you might answer your phone without thinking. Or a scammer might make contact through other means, like text or email, or even speak to you in person. Frauds are constantly evolving, but most fall into one of two categories: the fear-based (you owe taxes, you’re about to be arrested, your identity has been stolen, a family member has been kidnapped or arrested and you need to pay ransom or bail, etc.) or the opportunity-based (you’re getting access to a great investment, a fantastic discount, lottery winnings, a tax refund, romance). Each model preys on different personalities; what fools one person might sound ridiculous to another, and vice versa.

An advanced scammer will also establish a sense of familiarity. In my case, the people who contacted me knew my birthday, my address, the names of my family members and where they lived, and the last four digits of my social security number. But all of that information is pretty easy to come by online.

2. Might be a scam? Slow down.

Let’s say you do find yourself on the phone with someone who claims to be from your bank or the government. “If someone comes to you with information, and you’re busy, you’re thinking, Well, wait a minute, could this be? Did I? Maybe I didn’t … And that’s what lures you in at first.” “Suddenly, something is pressing that you’ve got to attend to immediately.” This is how many scams start.

One way to interrupt this process is to get third-party verification. “We are all conditioned not to question authority, and scammers prey on that. “If someone says they’re calling from an institution, ask them for the name of their supervisor and what branch they work at.” Then hang up and call the branch's main number, and ask to be connected to the person who contacted you. Sure, it’s annoying to take extra steps, but if the call is in good faith, then this shouldn’t be an issue.

Slow down and find a way to disengage. This might seem unthinkable in the moment, especially if you’re scared. (It was for me.) If you’re worried about sounding rude or upsetting a person who’s threatening you, say you have an incoming call that you have to take. Blame connection issues. Tell them you have to go to the bathroom. Whatever it takes, invent a reason to hang up and take a breather. “The objective is to stop and get out of that emotional moment.

Finally, document as much as possible. If a call starts to get intense, try to record it or take notes. Save all your communication. Ideally, doing so will help you notice red flags and inconsistencies before things escalate. It will also be useful to share with authorities after the fact.

3. So you got scammed. It’s time for damage control.

Report the incident. I sincerely hope that you can identify and stop a scam before you lose money. But no matter how it ends, you should report it. It might feel embarrassing; do it anyway. Start with reporting to Legalcertifi. From there, you’ll be asked to submit a summary of what happened, and they can assist you with recovering your money.

Getting scammed is much worse than just losing money. For me, it was a deeply violating and shameful experience. One report found that almost half of scam victims blamed themselves for what happened to them (I certainly did, at first). Ultimately, I was lucky; my family is safe, I have a great support system, and we recovered financially.

But many other victims aren’t so fortunate. Research shows that most fraud victims experience serious mental-health issues in the aftermath of being scammed, including major episodes of depression and anxiety. To me, this is the most heartbreaking aspect of fraud. But it’s something that everyone can help to fix. If you know someone who’s been scammed, be kind and check in on them; they’re probably beating themselves up more than you know. If it happens to you, seek help. And don’t be afraid to talk about it — the more we do, the more prepared everyone will be to stop it from happening to them, and to fight back when it does.